you can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness

'now and then I think of when we were together,
like when you said you were so happy you could die'

It hasn't even been a month and I want to do it again? seriously, I need to get over this.
I've been so emotional today, I was so tried and shitty in the morning, and the by lunch I was in such an amazing mood, me and Abs were having a laugh, like we never seem to laugh as much together as we used too? It sounds so stupid, bu we used to be so close, like so close, and now... I wouldn't even say we were best friends. I mean, we are, but not how best friends are supposed to be. Anyway, I was perfectly fine until about an hour ago, now I feel like I could just cry, and I don't think I'd ever stop. I just keep thinking about him, and how he's with her, and I try to be happy for him but I'm too selfish. I always think I'm over him. Like yesterday, I blogged about how much I liked some other guy, but I think I love him? 'you never realise what you have until it's gone'
I'll be fine, In an hour I'll probably be in the best mood :)

I just miss him so much