Love you Abs

I went to my nan's house today to help sort her stuff out because she's moving into a sheltered accommodation place soon, so we went to get rid of some stuff, and we found all these old photos and my nan gave me some of when she was like 20ish, and their so cute, aw.
Anyway, when I got home I looked through my old photos and came across this picture of me and abs, I think we're about 5?
If we don't stay friends forever I'll cry

Be here now.

Don’t let your mind get weary
And confused your will be still, don’t try
Don’t let your heart get heavy
Child, inside you there’s a strength that lies

Don’t let your soul get lonely
Child, it’s only time, it will go by
Don’t look for love in faces, places
It’s in you that’s where you’ll find kindness

Be here now, be here now
Be, be here now, be here now

Don’t lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don’t put your trust in walls
‘Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be, be here now, be here now
Be, be here now, be here now
Had this song stuck in my head all day, it's so good.

What's up bitches?

After a good day I ALWAYS have a bad day, it just always happens, always. I reckon it's because I use up all my good mood-ness on that day so by the following day i'm all drained and mardy. I was so mardy today, except for lunch because I was with Jord and we can't not have a laugh! We pissed Hannah off so much and she walked off because we were just ripping her to shreds, and I don't even care because she's been such a bitch recently to me, so she can just fuck right off the little slag, oh god, she's not that bad... lol.
I think i've fallen out with Aby as well, not officially, but officially to me, if that makes any sense? I'm just so fed up with Aby pissing off with Fraser so she can just fuck off too. I mean seriously, does she just expect me to still be here for her when Fraser goes to university, because I won't.
Ok, I probably will... But i'll try to stand my ground for a while.

Yep, todays been absolutely fantastic

You alright with ya hip piercings?

YEAH HIP PIERCING! Piercings make me so, so happy. Not only when I get one, but like seeing them on other people I just love them! Like they're so hot, yeah, I love them.

I went Kasbah to get it done and normally I have this piercer called Dave who's a babe, he's quite quiet, but lovely! But today I had this guy called Charlie, I'd seen him before at Kasbah but just like talking to people waiting to get piercings done, but he did my hip, mmmmm, he was so hot. I was in there for proper ages too because he had to get it measured to match my other hip piercing, and he seemed really nervous and not confident about it, which sort of worried me a bit, but also made me love him more, aw, babe.

Overall, today's been a jolly good day. woohooo!



10-not so interesting-FACTS ABOUT ME

I saw someone do this & it looked quite interesting, so here we go...

1. I have a massive family and I love them all so much

2. I've liked the same person for about a year now, on and off, but he's got a girlfriend, and that sucks.

3. I love my friends, like so so much.

4. Even though I question this sometimes, me and Abs are like sisters, we've been BEST friends now for like 11 years? I love her so much!

5. I'm so self conscious, like about everything. The way I look, the way I talk, how I act around people, how people act around me, how I show my emotions, yep, everything.

6. I have too many things which I've never told anybody, and I really need to talk about them sometimes.

7. I love my 'great' nan and my grandad so much, if anything ever happened to either of them I would feel so lost.

8. I worry/over think about everything, literally everything...

9. I hate change, but I love the thought of a new start too.

10. I have shit memory!

There we go motha'fuckas.

Go your own way

Jason Mraz- I won't give up on us
Train- Drive by

These songs are just my favourite atm, like in the shower in the morning I'll just play them two songs, singing away being in the best mood. Even though 'I won't give up on us' is a bit of a sad/slow song, it's still amazing.
I quite fancy making my blog more private, except I don't know how, I just hate the thought of people I know reading it, which now I know people actually do. But I might just make it less personal maybe?
Today's been good anyway, I just love RE, any day with RE is a good one, me and Moll' just have such a laugh! Probably one of my favourite lessons! can't even remember what other lessons I had... maths was shit, me and Lauren just really aren't getting on at the minute, normally I just sort of nod my way through our conversations but everything that comes out of her mouth seems to contradict something she's said before, and I hate liars too, and she told me something which aparantly isn;t true, and it's not something which you should lie about, ok, it just isn't, fucks sake...

The whole village went to this sort of memorial thing for Claire tonight, there was just a football match on at the sports club so they dedicated it to Claire and then everyone did a minute silence, it was nice of the village to organise it tbh. I still can't get over it, like I've never known, like properly known, someone who's died before, and I don't know how to react. Because I didn't know her well enough to cry, but I knew her well enough to be sad about it? hm

I just deleted about half of this blog because i'm worried about what I say on here

Lalalala

Today's been good, I woke up in this amazing mood that was just amazing. I had double art which is much better because I was sat with Jess not Lauren, as much as I love Lauren, she's so... Erm, selfish? Attention seeking? Rude? Idk, she's just annoying sometimes! Specially if i'm in a bad mood or upset about something and all she does is complain about her life, I just want to punch her! (sometimes I think I have anger issues, lol) but yeah, today was good! Except I overheard some guys saying about the women who died in the marathon and being so fucking idiotic, about the situation & saying 'how could someone die doing the marathon? It's just running' wtf, how stupid can you be, obviously Claire had some underlying problem which was what caused er to collapse in the first place. Have they not thought about her family? What their going through? Ok, yep that was annoying.

Rip Claire XXXXXXX

Shit, this women who lives in my village died in the marathon today, she was so lovely, and young and pretty, she was so physically fit too, always running and training. Her brother died due to drugs a couple of years ago, and she was running to raise money for a samaritans charity. It's so strange, she was perfect, nothing was wrong with her, how can that happen?
Fuckinghell

Yep im a mess

What is my life? I was in art at lunch, just waiting to use the printer and then Jared comes and stands in the que behind me, I thought I was going to cry. We made like awkward eye contact and did a sort of half smile, but after everything we went through and we were friends for what seemed like forever and all I get is a half smile? Fgs, I was so worried I was going to cry, just stood there, printing and crying, luckily I kept it together and then went to the toilet and casually thought about how shit my life is now. My whole life just revolves around exams and how much I miss Jared, FUCK SAKE, h8 my lyfe

Night fevaaaa'

I love glee because no matter how shit my day is or how upset i'm feeling, it always manages to make me happy! So many people say that glee is shit, but it's not, it portrays real problems, not like 90210 or TOWIE, although I love them, there so, 'omg I need a tan, why haven't I had sex today?' I just love glee, lol GLEEK jks guys, jk

Move along just to make it through

Can someone please tell me what's wrong with me. I've like the same guy for soooooo long now, and we haven't spoken in about 4 months. How is it possible that I can still have any type of emotion left for him? I think I just miss him a lot, like so much. If we started talking again I would maybe get over him because I wouldn't miss him as much?
I'm just really bad at missing people, like even before they're gone I miss them.
Maybe it's just seeing him with her that fuels my 'love' for him, or maybe I just hate her so much I just want her boyfriend, even though the reason why I hate her is because she's going out with him.
For god sake, I just need to move on.

I can't wait until i'm older and can have kids, like I want such a family family! Like we'll go camping and, be really close, i'll probably have 3/4 kids, i'm hoping i'll have identical twin girls and they run in my family so it could happen! But I'd quite like to own, not a farm, but a big-ish house with land so I could get maybe a pig, sheep, goat?! Haha! Obviously i'll have a dog & cats, probably multiple of both, but aw, neva guna happen.
I hate talking about the future but I don't mind talking about his :)

Fave song

'Now it's gonna get harder, and it's gonna burn brighter, and it's gonna feel tougher, each and every day.
So let me say, that I love you. You're all I've ever wanted, all I've ever dreamed of to come.'

PERFECT GUY PLZ

My perfect guy:
Knows when i'm sad.
Has multiple Piercings/tattoos(optional).
Taller than me.
Not too skinny.
Gives good cuddles.
Cuddles me a lot.
Holds your hand all the time.
Likes similar/good movies.
MUST like Jamie T and/or ymas.
Genuine.
Has nice friends.
Makes me laugh.
Gets on with all my family/friends, especially Abs, not my mum/dad cos their twats
Doesn't cheat/flirt with other girls. (i'm quite jel)
Likes little kids, especially Lizzy.
Isn't too posh/snobby/well mannered.
Isn't homophobic/racist etc.
Is sympathetic when i'm hungover.
(The last ones was important today) :(

If someone has all of these factors, guy or girl, I will love you forever

I did this last night when I was feeling a bit lonely, thought i'd publish it now. But seriously he meets the majority of these, except for he has no piercings/tattoos, his mum is quite snobby and doesn't agree with my drunken antics, some of his friends are twats and he's quite skinny,
I need to get over him. What even is my life? cry.

Bro hoe

Just got back from work, WORK GUYS WORK. Ok, whatever, I want to say about Soph's last night! It was such a good night, everyone was absolutely mortal, but omg what a night!
Don't quite know what happened to Cramp, she wasn't drinking a huge amount and then all of a sudden she was locked in the bathroom and fell asleep, but everyone thought she'd passed out! ...ok, I thought it was funny at the time... But then she ended up sleeping in Soph's room this was at about 11! And Abs was sick about 26287382 times too, it was in the toilet though, so that was ok!
Sophie's brothers are so nice too, they were showing us drinking games which was fun, me and Aby (mostly Aby) ended up slagging off Rhianne to Adam, probably wasn't the best idea but he doesn't like her anyway! Me Adam, Ben and Jordan were in the lounge and were watching American pie: The Wedding and I was sat in a chair sort of on top of/to the side of Adam, and I was telling him how i was going to be a bridesmaid so we were practising walking down the aisle, oh god, I was a mess. This bit's a bit of a blur, but when I'm drunk I seem to turn into a bit of a slag, and I don't really care who I get with.. Well I do to some standards ofc. But it was so awkward like, I can't get with Sophie's brother and also of previously gone out with Jordan's bro, I'll get a reputation as some bro hoe! But, Adam kept like feeling me up, and going to kiss me.. Seriously what? He must know (don't really know how) that i still like Jared, and how could he get with me knowing I went out with his 'best' mate? Bit awkward. I don't care about people feeling me up, like I just don't, but I just couldn't do anything else, eurgh, no, I couldn't. Adam's just a pal.
But, yah. Other than that, SUCH A SWEET NIGHT LOVED IT XOXO

Leo DiCap

Leonardo DiCaprio is more beautiful than anybody I have ever seen in my whole life, maybe not how he is now, his younger self... Like when he was in Titanic, The beach, Romeo & Juliet etc. I don't know why but I think I actually love him, I feel like I know him in a deeply personal way, loljk, I just want to have sex with him, and then marry him and we can have lovely children together.
It's the way his hair sweeps slightly over his eye, but only one. How his eyes change from blue to green, his smile, the half-crooked smile and the full, perfect, teeth out smile. He is just so so beautiful, babes I love ya.

Fuuuuck, I'm done with this

Long livers in the sunset

Family are over until Monday, going Birmingham Monday with Abs, my nan's moving to a sheltered accommodation on Tuesday so we're all going over to help her take her stuff over, that won't be a nice day. But then cinema on Wednesday to see TITANIC 3D! Sophie's 'gathering' with my girls on Thursday, so looking forward to that, i'm going to get wasted just because I haven't been drunk in such a long time (ok, only about a couple of weeks, but anyway) I normally end up having chats with Soph's bro because he's lovely!
I'm waaaaaay to open when i'm drunk though, and I worry about what i'll say to someone! Shouldn't be too bad though... Hopefully...
Anyway, and then Friday, Saturday and Sunday will consist of Work at the pub, homework/coursework and finishing my new book! My mum got me this book called 'Looking for Alaska' i'm about 100 pages in and it's amazing, my mum knows me so well.
Everyone seems to be going to campouts atm, I really want to go to a massive one, like just a massive camping orgy. Hahahahaha, oh golly

The hunger games > Twilight

Ok, I've found something which means more to me than Twilight. THE HUNGER GAMES.

'That what I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.
So after, when he whispers, “You love me. Real or not real?”
I tell him, “Real.”'

-Mockingjay.

OMG. I finished Mockinjay today, which is the last book of The hunger games. It's amazing, like them 3 books are amazing. So amazing. I'm going to annoy everyone because I can't get over how amazing them books were!
I think I liked them so much was because of Katniss' and peeta's relationship, I just loved Peeta's undying love for Katniss, and then in the last book when he's confused about his feelings towards her, Katniss realises how much she needs her old Peeta back. So, so cute. I just love perfect couples.

Never coming back again

I'm in Newquay, yay! But yeah, not really a fan of family holidays tbh! It's alright when Aby comes, but we didn't have room this year :( Last year when me and Aby were here, I remember we went in the tent and me and Jared were like sort of getting together, and Jared was at some party and was absolutely mortal, and he kept ringing us because he was out of it! And I hate thinking about it, but he said how he only wanted me, and he'd rather be talking to me than anyone at that party, that was his excuse for staying on the phone. It's times like this when I remember things he said and I realise how much I miss him and I know it's my own fault why we're not together now... I was definitely just too scared to allow anything to happen, and I wish now i'd of just gone with it! Me and Jord wouldn't of fallen out, we're too close for that to happen, and yeah, it might be horrible and awkward at first but after a while it would be fine and perfect, what am I saying?
I really need to get over him, he's happy now, even though she's a slag, he's still happy and i'm happy that he's happy and he is happy so therefore, i'm happy too.
I forget that someone I know may read this, and realise that I still like Jared. I would never tell Aby... or anyone for that matter, I like people to think i've moved on, even if I haven't. Bdjdvificidjwk, please kill me now